I’ve learned… that the best way to keep a creative project going is to not talk about it until it’s finished. The more I talk about a project the longer it takes for me to finish it or if I even finish it at all. I don’t know why this is but it remains true to everything I plan on finishing. Therefore, it pains me to keep my mouth shut on the many projects I’ve got on my schedule.  So, this blog isn’t about my current unfinished projects but a look back at finished old ones.

I was looking through some old pics in my computer and found a folder called “Work in progress.” Inside were pictures of old projects in stages. Now,  I’m a believer that any education you would’ve learned in an Art college is available on the Internet.  Yup, it’s true… and you’re in luck because  I’m going to use those “work in progress” pictures to teach you….YES YOU…how to paint. That’s right, you’re not like those suckers pumping out money they can’t afford to get an art education they can’t use. You’ve got access to a computer so you’re getting your art education for free!

Pictured: SUCKER!

Before we start you’ll need a check list of stuff:

• Canvas or Panel – Check!
• Pencils or graphite stick -Check!
• Brushes (Flat, Round, Filbert, Fan…etc) -  Check!
• Paint knife (not to be mistaken with the sharp/ pointy/stabby knife) -Check!
• Liquin ( Linseed oil if you’ve got the patience) – Check!
• Galkyd (because I really don’t have the patience) – Check!
• Oil Paints (May I recommend Blockx Artist Oil Colors…I use Gamblin/Winsor & Newton because Blockx is ridiculously expensive…but still, the money you would’ve spent in art school can find better investment in top notch tubes of oil paints because you’re no sucker.) – Check!
• Turpenoid (Warning unscented is still toxic you fools!) – Check!
• Art education - Che—wait I mean…You’re no sucker!
• Jobless free time - Check!

There are many oil painting techniques. You can paint directly on the canvas like the way I described in an old blog post called, ” Painting Process (Warning: Contains NO educational value)” –Don’t let the “Contains NO educational value” fool you, it  contains a ton of…uh….I mean, that blog post will show you—um—alright, yeah it has no educational value—It’s a good read regardless.
You can also start the painting in acrylic and go over it with oil–A technique I have not yet tried because it sounds redundant. The technique I’m going to post on here is one I like to call “The Coloring Book technique.” It’s pretty basic and is  essentially drawing the contours of the subject matter with a pencil and then coloring within the lines with oil paint.  This technique is so easy that I’ve broken it down to  four easy steps.

Step 1: Draw the Subject Matter

Take your Pencil or Graphite and draw the subject matter

I'm assuming you've taken a photograph of your subject matter...Also you've gridded the photograph with equal squares to the grid on your canvas/panel. Oh...and importantly, I've assumed that you know how to draw. Yeah, that last part is pretty important.

Step 2: Find your colors by mixing your paint

Use your knife to mix your oil paint to find the right colors. Use liquin or galkyd to thin them out.

I'm assuming that you know how to combine, mix, and apply colors according to your understanding of color theory.

Step 3: Paint within the lines.

Imagine your canvas/panel as just a large page of a coloring book and your crayons are your brushes and paint. You have the power to create any color you want… the possibilities are endless! Now drown your brush in paint and apply it within the lines!

I'm assuming you know how to render with a dry brush to get that realistic look and that you've been using masking tape this whole time to create those hard edged lines. If you haven't...um....it's easier to make those hard edged lines if you use masking tape.

Step 4:  There is no Step 4! Congratulations! You’re done!

You’ve successfully bypassed Art School and still gotten an art education! You are now a flaming Artist. Go out there and wake up the world! Be successful like the others before you!

Um.... There is actually a Step 4. But I've assumed that if you've gone as far as Step 3, Step 4 will just come to you via instincts. There might also be Step 5 ...I'm not sure... you'll probably figure that one out once you've reached Step 4....or when you realize that there might also be a Step 6.

OK… So that’s not really an accurate description of the process of painting. I can’t do that whole Bob Ross teaching method because there’s just a lot of thinking involved when I paint….I just tend to over-think a lot and explaining my thought process will hurt your head as it is hurting mine right now. Seriously,  there is a  crap load of things my brain is looking for when I’m creating something and it takes a lot out of me. Sometimes, when I have to finish a body of work,  my friends can vouch at how hard to reach and anti-social I’ll become.  This is because my entire mind is so wrapped around the art work I’m doing that I’ve successfully crossed over the realm of introverts. Meaning, I lock myself in my room for weeks and paint myself out of sanity.

Pictured: Missing sanity

By the way, that picture above was when I had decided to paint every single brick on the Harvard Lampoon painting with my mouth. It was counterproductive.

Those fucking bricks....

Anyways….to end this pretty useless guide on how to paint…I’m just going to say that, no amount of internet research will equal to actually just sitting down with your supplies and learn how to paint through trial and error. You can also succumb to just getting someone to teach you, but you’re no sucker.

As I browse this “Work in Progress” folder…The only real advice I can give about creating great art  is that the most successful artworks I’ve ever made are the tedious ones. The ones that made me go “shit, can I do this?” in the beginning are usually the ones I have the most fun at making. The final product usually looks awesome and it makes me look like a goddamn genius for even attempting to do it….

…suckers.