This blog is about the props I’ve been making for Improv Asylum’s recent shows. Props that…for one reason or another, just didn’t work the way we planned.

BREAKAWAY BOTTLES
I got an e-mail from the production assistant asking if I could make some breakaway glass bottles for the new mainstage show. Now a breakaway glass bottle is the type they use in movies and TV shows usually broken over actors’ heads during a bar fight or something without actually fracturing their skulls. The bottle is made of melted sugar. It’s freakin’ candy. My girlfriend found a recipe from indy mogul and we set off to an adventure around Quincy and Boston looking for the ingredients.

A quick step by step of making breakaway beer bottles:

You see? Easy.

After it was broken over one of the actor’s head…the others just couldn’t resist picking up the shattered pieces off the floor…and eating them.

The problem: As I’ve detailed in that diagram, because they are made of sugar, they do tend to get very sticky. This does not go well with the hot lights illuminating the theater stage. What ends up happening is that after the glass shatters all over the stage, they melt and proceed to coat the floor with its sugary stickiness. For the remainder of the show, it sounded like the actors were performing on the floor of an adult movie theater and it was very very distracting.

The Solution: After a week or two of this. I was relieved from my bottle making duties when they decided to just order breakaway bottles from a company who makes them from resin instead of sugar. Aside from getting rid of the sticky factor, these bottles are factory made and can be finished faster and in greater quantity than I could keep up with. This also stopped the actors from eating the shattered props as I was told the resin bottles didn’t taste as good.

BOX OF KRYPTONITE
When Norm Laviolette comes up to you and says “I need a box containing kryptonite and I want it to smoke. Use dry ice. Make it happen.” The best response is to just say “Yes.” Saying “No” will just waste valuable seconds to when you eventually say “Yes” anyways. So I went to Ocean State Joblot looking for supplies and walked to Acme Dry Ice to buy…dry ice. I spray painted the box to look like lead, taped two green glow sticks together, put Tupperware inside the box for the dry ice and WALA! Box-o-Kryptonite smoking from dry ice!

Unfortunately, this is the only photograph I have of my prop in action

And it looks pretty awesome.

The Problem: Although dry Ice apparently melts slower than regular ice, it still melts ridiculously fast if not stored in a freezer and Improv Asylum does not have this (a walk in cooler is not cool enough). A single order, say 12lbs of dry ice, barely survives 2 days in a walk in cooler.

The Solution: As awesome looking as it was to watch smoke billow out of the fake lead container, the dry ice was eventually dropped from the sketch. Also reducing the chances of dry ice burn the actors might sustain on stage.

RAIDING LADY GAGA’S WARDROBE
As I’ve stated in a Glovebox interview, when I was a child in Manila, I used to go through the garbage of–I wish there was a better word for this without sounding stereotypical–”sweatshops” in my neighborhood. Looking for scraps to make into toys. A majority of these scrap made toys looked like crude replicas of Ninja Turtle weapons, Ghostbuster proton packs, Shaider armors, etc..etc.. I guess I was doing cosplay before I knew what cosplay was.
This probably explains why I love Halloween so much. I’ve been making my own costumes since 1994, when I saw how ridiculous I looked the year prior, when I wore one of those store bought batman spandex costumes. I’ve got no pictures (thank god) but the memory remains. Actually sometimes my sister will remind me of just how utterly stupid I loo —wait a minute—Uh— the point?….THE POINT! The point is…. Jeremy Brothers comes up to me and says, “Vic can you make some Lady GaGa wardrobe for an NXT sketch?” And my inner child got all excited and used my adult mouth to say “Yes”.

So I went out dumpster diving behind a Wendy’s and hoarding as much boxes as I could carry home. I already knew the first Lady GaGa costume I wanted to do. It was a gun bra from a rolling stones cover she was featured on. As soon as I got home I began to work.

First, a bra was donated to me by someone anonymous. I added some black straps to it according to the straps on the GaGa gun bra.

Donated by my girlfri--er...Anonymous!

Then I spent the majority of the night cutting and super gluing Wendy’s cardboard boxes to make the guns.

The food is as deadly as what this gun represents.

I spray painted the cardboard guns black and attached them to the bra aaaandd The Gunzangas are a go!

Lookitem' go!

I had to make a two more costumes but after all the energy I used to make the gunzangas, I wasn’t able to document the making of the other two. The second outfit I replicated was whatever that rotating headpiece thingie she wears is and the third outfit I made was inspired by a quartz queen-like costume she wore.

Here are what they look like when worn by the actors

NXT Actress Kelly Dooley wearing the Gunzangas

NXT Actress Patty Barrett wearing the rotating headpiece thingie.

NXT actress Christine Flynn wearing that Quartz queen-like costume.

The Problem: Not sure… but the problem isn’t costume related I’m sure (er..hope).

The Solution: The sketch was dropped from the show. Why? Maybe the show was too long and they found it necessary to cut this sketch? I really don’t know. Anyways, I have a little bit of hope that they will use these props for something…they’re just sitting in the green room taking up space.

And that’s it. The blog about props.

This is Prop Master Vic peacing out! PEACE!

When people ask, “Hey Vic, I need a tattoo. Can you design it for me?” Typically, I’ll be more than happy to help. The problem is, I might just piss off your tattoo artist with my not knowing how to make the design easier for them and stuff. For Example, My friend Tiffany once asked me to design a tattoo for her: A koi fish near a lotus flower. This is a pretty common design so a quick google search should give me some examples. “NO!” screamed my inner Farty-Fine-Artsy self, followed by “You shall make yours original! Do not be tainted by other people’s designs!” which was then followed by a slap in the face. So without hesitating, I grabbed my acrylics and brushes and painted this:

My inner Fartsy-Fine-Artsy self is a moron.

How in the hell did I think this was going to work is beyond me. Despite the fact that this looked like a pretty damn expensive tattoo, I’ve also condemned my friend to hours of unnecessary torturous needling had she gotten this. I will be shamed by the reminder of contributing to permanently scarring and painfully fucking up her left arm. Luckily, she opted to use the tattoo artist’s design instead.

Disaster averted, friendship still intact.....phew!

A year later, Michelle, a bartender for Improv Asylum, asked if I could design a tattoo for her to replace an old one. She wanted an Italian horn with a snake coiled into the sign of Virgo. I was little more carefully with this one, shutting up the Fartsy-Fine-Artsy self and did my research on tattoo designs. After taking in the tattoos, I grabbed a pencil and did this:

Actually, this was the second take. The original had a sword in it because I forgot what an "Italian horn" was.

Did it go as planned? Not sure… her Tattoo artist flaked out on her so it was postponed.

Soon after, Jenny Gibbs an usher for Improv Asylum, requested a design for a tattoo as well. She was going to get her tax returns and dammit it will be spent on an permanent artwork on her hip! Around this time, I was bombarded with other art-related assignments and promising a tattoo seemed like one of those false ones waiting to happen. But seriously, how can you say “no” to this face?

awww.....

So I put Jenny’s tattoo on my “to do” list.  But the other stuff that needed to be done on the list above her wasn’t getting done fast enough…I know this because a month into promising her a design, I got this comment on my facebook wall:

“Vic! Get on that drawing, I’ve got big plans!”
-Jenny Gibbs 2/27/2010

To her defense, I was taking my dear sweet time finishing the design……3 months I think….I’ve got a procrastination problem that won’t go away…It so didn’t want to go away that the only time I got to working on her tattoo was when I used that to procrastinate something else I had to do. Anyways, this is how it turned out:

To my defense, it also took her forever to get me a copy of her Hebrew name.

I told her I’d get to work on the coloring part ASAP…and by ASAP I meant, with A Small Amount of Patience….I guess she had a different definition of that abbreviation because I got this comment on my facebook wall:

“How’s my tattoo coming along??? I’d like to get [it] done before I’m dead.”
-Jenny Gibbs 5/14/2010

Jeez laweez! Does she have any idea how long it takes to watch all the new videos from my subscriptions on youtube? Or how long it takes for me to go through all the random crap on Bored.com? Those things take forever, man! Being generous, I took sometime out of my “busy” schedule and sat down, turned on my computer, went on facebook and after an hour or so stalking people, I remembered why I sat down to begin with, and then began coloring in her tattoo design.

Sorry Youtube user "Magnum44Biotch," I have a tattoo to finish, I'll watch your videos later.

After that, I got this comment on my facebook wall:

“just made my [Appointment] for the tattoo. Sunday it’s going down my friend! pictures will soon follow.”
-Jenny Gibbs 6/22/2010

She wasn’t wasting any time. She really wanted this tattoo on her. I commented on how fast she was getting her shit together. Her reply was:

“haha! cause when i need something done i dont waste time like some people…”
-Jenny Gibbs 6/22/2010

OH BURN! I agree “some people” are just–wait….did she mean me? I’M “SOME PEOPLE!?” ….. … Oh… right, I did waste time… anyways, she went ahead and got this permanently marked on her, took a photograph, and then posted it up on twitter.

...hey wait a minute....

…..um……

My design didn’t look—well maybe it’s just the photo…it is a little blurry….yeah, that’s probably why I didn’t recognize my own design there for a second. She said she had a clearer one posted on facebook so let’s look a that.

HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

That’s not my design at all! It’s…NO! What? Wha–why…it doesn’t look…has leaves..ribbon wraps…two flowers…It’s…NO! NOOOooooooOOOkay, faux over-reaction over. But seriously, I think I did it again, I made it hard for the tattoo artist to transfer my design into an applicable tattoo. Nice save though, it’s pretty and the artist did a fine job. Though I can’t take credit for the work….I’ll settle for taking credit for the concept.

Now….who wants a tattoo design?

The summer is here! Whoopee! Time for Summer Heat, Beaches, People allowing the sun to molest them, girls in scandalous dresses with dumps like a truck (truck), Thighs like what (what), all night long…let me see that– uh…off topic…ANYWAYS THE SUMMER IS HERE! WHOOOOOooooooOh right, that’s not a good thing for me  since my job at Harvard won’t need me in the summer time. Not getting paid = Shit. Well at least I still have the front of the house managing Improv Asylum job to keep me above water.

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SPEAKING OF IMPROV…

Having put improvising on the shelf allowed me extra time to focus on my art. No longer doing improv was a hard thing to do….wait…no, I mean not being able to perform with friends was a hard thing to do…the improv itself? Surprisingly not so hard to drop. I’m never sure if my performance was ever any good and I’m beginning to think I was alienating everyone with my constant “critique me!” attitude after each show. Plus, I’m extremely anxious on stage…especially if an audience member shouts out what everyone else might think is a simple English word to start a scene  and I wouldn’t have a damn clue what that word meant. I constantly question myself if I’m clever enough to work around that.

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SPEAKING OF LANGUAGE BARRIER…

So English is not my first language. When I see a words like… I don’t know… um… “UHAUL”….my thought process is to call it “yoo-hah-ool”. A pronunciation my sister called out when she saw one of their trucks for the first time. She was severely made fun of by our father and I laughed pretending I knew she was wrong. Which brings me to the Wacom Tablet or as I used to call it, the “Whack-um tablet.” I used to think that people giggled when I say it because the name sounded giggle-worthy, it wasn’t until someone who didn’t have a sense of humor corrected me, that’s when I realized that those people were giggling because I was saying “way-com” wrong. (Note: I’ve just been told that it is OK to call it “whack-um”…not sure if this is plot to make me look like an idiot again so I’ll stick to calling it “way-com”). Anyways, because of this little pronunciation embarrassment, I’ve decided to make the Wacom tablet my bitch.

Hello Bitch

I’ve trained it to work for me. Okay so it took hours to get used to, but eventually, after breaking that clicky thing on the side of the pen from frustration, I’ve become fairly good at using it.

The first time I used this tablet to finish an artwork was when I made this:

The show's title was from a radio edit of a terrible song.

This was the cover for our Improv Graduation show program. All the people on here are stylized with a bit of exaggeration.  I’m the one with the square face, glasses, and Asian.  The first 4 people took 4-6 hours…. yes, that’s 240 to 360 minutes of curse words and head to the keyboard bashing drawing time. I needed to get used to the nature of free hand drawing on the Wacom. After those four, the others became easier and easier as I go. Me and Mr. Wacom came to an understanding; it would no longer continue drawing or erasing when the tip of the pen is NOT touching the tablet, and I won’t break anymore of its parts. The final product was shown to people days before the show and it was met with approval. So much so, that the Director of Operations at Improv Asylum commissioned me to do a portrait of the current Main stage cast in similar style.

I found myself vastly improving as I worked on the commissioned project. It was gradually becoming more realistic than the Grad show program cover. All in all the process went down pretty smoothly….OK not really. After I finished the drawing ready for the Improv Asylum grand re-opening, I was told that one cast member, who wasn’t in the cast when the drawing was commissioned, should have been included. Which, clearly…makes sense since it was about the “CURRENT” main stage cast…Oops! Luckily, we had the 12th anniversary party to celebrate a few days later. It bought me some time to finish the piece and it was unveiled on the night of the anniversary. It too was met with approval.

I can tell the drawing order of the actors by how realistic they look.

After this was finished, I was commissioned again to create a portrait in similar style. This time, as a father’s day present.

Maybe I'm getting better at this....or maybe it's because there are children staring at me as I drew them...but creating this didn't involve any cursing out in frustration. This one went pretty smoothly.

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SPEAKING OF FATHER’S DAY…

Anyone else notice how almost every year, more and more of your childhood friends are celebrating this day? It’s like the new thing to do or something…anyways, before I left for work on Father’s Day, I called my dad to wish him a happy one, only to be met with his stupid ass voice mail. So I decided to lamely facebook greet him instead. But I felt weird as hell doing that, so in an attempt to make it less weird, I made a quick drawing of him attached to the  greeting.

"He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels." He must've liked it.

I was going for a gangster look, but my dad’s reply to this was, “I look like a very mean villain.” I didn’t want to tell him it was because of his villainous looking mustache. I feared  that he might shave it and I finally see where I got my looks from. *shivers* No, I don’t want that mustache to disappear.

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SPEAKING OF DISAPPEARING…

This Guy

Richie Moriarty has left Improv Asylum’s main stage.  Besides having a badass last name, Richie was one of the first cast members who was genuinely nice to me when I first started working there. He is one extremely funny dude who made his craft look easy. Richie not being in Improv Asylum will take some getting used to.

On his last performance, Patty Barrett asked me to draw a picture of her and Richie in reference to Michelangelo’s God creating Adam painting on the Sistine Chapel. With Richie being Adam and Patty being God. Don’t really know the significance of this (Did Patty make Richie?) but I’ve been looking for an excuse to use that painting as a motif for anything. So I made this for her (for him):

Richie and God

And the entire cast and staff said their goodbyes to Richie. Had a few drinks, laughs, drinks, dance, drinks, hugs, drinks, dance, drinks…and so on until we beat the night.  I left Imrpov Asylum very very very early in the morning. I was looking to get a group together and get breakfast but everyone was either too exhausted, drunk, passed out or whatever to do anything. So I went on an adventure looking for any eatery place, besides Dunkin’ Donuts, that was open. Walked from the North End to Downtown Crossing and nothing was opened. I remembered there was a food court at South Station so I headed over there. The only thing opened was Mcdonalds…not even good Mcdonalds, but shitty breakfast only Mcdonalds. Too tired/drunk/hungover to continue searching  I ordered some “McFood” which I regretted instantly at first bite. Should’ve settled for Dunkin Donuts. Can’t find any great places to eat these days.

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SPEAKING OF GREAT PLACES TO EAT…

Norm Laviolette, the co-owner of Improv Asylum, brought some chips and a buffet of salsa with him one night at the theater. They were sample salsas for his up coming taqueria in Duxbury, MA. A project he and his business partners have been working on for quite some time now. I know this because he commissioned me to make a concept design of what the front of the restaurant and the logo would look like. The name of the establishment was to be “¡Yo Taco!” but was then changed to “Tootie’s Beach Burrito”

I don't know who Tootie is.

and the front of the place was to be Beach inspired. Having spent some time in Long Beach Island, NJ during my teens, I decided to use that area as inspiration.

Those picnic tables are taken right out of LBI's "Custard Hut"

I was later told that they needed to show no drastic modifications to the original building. So a second design was made.

Gone are the linked stations and the wooden walkway and the orange paint.

Very close except for two things, one: those picnic tables need to go, and two, they’ve reverted back to calling it “¡Yo Taco!” So another logo was made:

"I Taco!" in English. Not a product of Apple.

And a final design was created:

A reason to visit Duxbury, MA....mmmmmmm tacos.

And if the salsas I tasted was any indication of the quality of food this place will serve….I can’t wait to taste their tacos.

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SPEAKING OF THINGS YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR…

This is the end of the blog.

]]> http://vicyambao.net/blog/?feed=rss2&p=157 0 http://vicyambao.net/blog/?p=149 http://vicyambao.net/blog/?p=149#comments Sun, 20 Jun 2010 10:47:42 +0000 vicyambao http://vicyambao.net/blog/?p=149 The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority subway services doesn’t like you. It hates you. It hates its job. It wants to be put out of its misery. Why else would those fuckers be so goddamn unreliable?

The MBTA trains stole their unoriginal logo from the Swedes who probably decided to take the first letter of the word “TRANSPORTATION” and put it inside a circle. Unsurprisingly, the locals ended up calling it the “T”

"T" is for Terrible

I feel that this logo doesn’t quite capture the essence of the Boston subway system. No it’s more than just a “Train.” It’s a fucking frustrating failure of a fucktard!

The "F"...that's more like it.

Seriously, I understand how traffic can cause delays for MBTA buses-after all Boston pedestrians, drivers and bikers are like kamikaze pilots on a mission-but there are no excuses for the trains to be delayed every fucking week! Not when they know that there are millions of commuters at the mercy of their reliability. I can not believe they don’t know this, therefore I will have to assume that, yeah…if you’re a commuter, they really don’t like you.

A logo more original and more accurate to the MBTA policy

Hey Michael Bay! I’ve got the perfect character for your upcoming Transformer sequel! Its name is Broke-a-Tron, it’s an MBTA red line train who breaks down! Now I know what you’re thinking, “It breaks down? How is it perfect?” Well I know how much you love explosions in your movies, Broke-a-Tron is almost always at the verge of doing just that. The only problem is it’s so dedicated to this role of breaking down for no reason that it might break before the camera starts rolling. Actually, it’s guaranteed it will break before the camera starts rolling. Expect delays and plan your filming accordingly.

Broke-A-Tron has a bit of an attitude problem as well.

And Michael Bay, I know how you like to rape popular franchises of the 80’s and screw everyone who loved those originals. It reminded me of another character who’s just perfect for your Transformer sequel. Its name is Omegasshole Prime, an MBTA green line train who loves to screw commuters! It rapes everyone with hiked up fares to pay for new sardined versions of it’s old crappy self. It breaks down almost as much as Broke-a-Tron. They’re all pretty much the same really.

Kobe Bryant? oh it's just Omegasshole Prime.

By the way, Michael Bay (that rhymed!), they can’t work too long of hours. They have to be in before 1AM if not earlier. Why? Well, because how else would they be able to encourage drunk driving? Most bars close at 2AM in Boston. Cabs are expensive as hell. The trains need to be closed so that Joe “the inebriated frat boy” will find it reasonable to get in his car and attempt to drive home right after he relearns how to walk. What’s that Mr. Bay? Why would the trains want to do that? Because just like you, The MBTA trains are douche bags.

Wow did I just seriously rip on Michael Bay and the MBTA? Blog should’ve been called Michael Bay Transit Authority.

A.D.D.

So in conclusion to this rant. I hate the “T” I hate it so much that I feel sick knowing that it’s my only transportation to and from work. You know that problem about the trains shutting down before 1AM? Well working for Improv Asylum, has me working till 2AM which means there will be no going home for me once my shift is through. So, I’m at my work right now. Just sitting here typing all of this and waiting for the trains to be open for services again. I feel sick.

My morning commute

I was looking through some old pics in my computer and found a folder called “Work in progress.” Inside were pictures of old projects in stages. Now,  I’m a believer that any education you would’ve learned in an Art college is available on the Internet.  Yup, it’s true… and you’re in luck because  I’m going to use those “work in progress” pictures to teach you….YES YOU…how to paint. That’s right, you’re not like those suckers pumping out money they can’t afford to get an art education they can’t use. You’ve got access to a computer so you’re getting your art education for free!

Pictured: SUCKER!

Before we start you’ll need a check list of stuff:

• Canvas or Panel – Check!
• Pencils or graphite stick -Check!
• Brushes (Flat, Round, Filbert, Fan…etc) -  Check!
• Paint knife (not to be mistaken with the sharp/ pointy/stabby knife) -Check!
• Liquin ( Linseed oil if you’ve got the patience) – Check!
• Galkyd (because I really don’t have the patience) – Check!
• Oil Paints (May I recommend Blockx Artist Oil Colors…I use Gamblin/Winsor & Newton because Blockx is ridiculously expensive…but still, the money you would’ve spent in art school can find better investment in top notch tubes of oil paints because you’re no sucker.) – Check!
• Turpenoid (Warning unscented is still toxic you fools!) – Check!
• Art education - Che—wait I mean…You’re no sucker!
• Jobless free time - Check!

There are many oil painting techniques. You can paint directly on the canvas like the way I described in an old blog post called, ” Painting Process (Warning: Contains NO educational value)” –Don’t let the “Contains NO educational value” fool you, it  contains a ton of…uh….I mean, that blog post will show you—um—alright, yeah it has no educational value—It’s a good read regardless.
You can also start the painting in acrylic and go over it with oil–A technique I have not yet tried because it sounds redundant. The technique I’m going to post on here is one I like to call “The Coloring Book technique.” It’s pretty basic and is  essentially drawing the contours of the subject matter with a pencil and then coloring within the lines with oil paint.  This technique is so easy that I’ve broken it down to  four easy steps.

Step 1: Draw the Subject Matter

Take your Pencil or Graphite and draw the subject matter

I'm assuming you've taken a photograph of your subject matter...Also you've gridded the photograph with equal squares to the grid on your canvas/panel. Oh...and importantly, I've assumed that you know how to draw. Yeah, that last part is pretty important.

Step 2: Find your colors by mixing your paint

Use your knife to mix your oil paint to find the right colors. Use liquin or galkyd to thin them out.

I'm assuming that you know how to combine, mix, and apply colors according to your understanding of color theory.

Step 3: Paint within the lines.

Imagine your canvas/panel as just a large page of a coloring book and your crayons are your brushes and paint. You have the power to create any color you want… the possibilities are endless! Now drown your brush in paint and apply it within the lines!

I'm assuming you know how to render with a dry brush to get that realistic look and that you've been using masking tape this whole time to create those hard edged lines. If you haven't...um....it's easier to make those hard edged lines if you use masking tape.

Step 4:  There is no Step 4! Congratulations! You’re done!

You’ve successfully bypassed Art School and still gotten an art education! You are now a flaming Artist. Go out there and wake up the world! Be successful like the others before you!

Um.... There is actually a Step 4. But I've assumed that if you've gone as far as Step 3, Step 4 will just come to you via instincts. There might also be Step 5 ...I'm not sure... you'll probably figure that one out once you've reached Step 4....or when you realize that there might also be a Step 6.

OK… So that’s not really an accurate description of the process of painting. I can’t do that whole Bob Ross teaching method because there’s just a lot of thinking involved when I paint….I just tend to over-think a lot and explaining my thought process will hurt your head as it is hurting mine right now. Seriously,  there is a  crap load of things my brain is looking for when I’m creating something and it takes a lot out of me. Sometimes, when I have to finish a body of work,  my friends can vouch at how hard to reach and anti-social I’ll become.  This is because my entire mind is so wrapped around the art work I’m doing that I’ve successfully crossed over the realm of introverts. Meaning, I lock myself in my room for weeks and paint myself out of sanity.

Pictured: Missing sanity

By the way, that picture above was when I had decided to paint every single brick on the Harvard Lampoon painting with my mouth. It was counterproductive.

Those fucking bricks....

Anyways….to end this pretty useless guide on how to paint…I’m just going to say that, no amount of internet research will equal to actually just sitting down with your supplies and learn how to paint through trial and error. You can also succumb to just getting someone to teach you, but you’re no sucker.

As I browse this “Work in Progress” folder…The only real advice I can give about creating great art  is that the most successful artworks I’ve ever made are the tedious ones. The ones that made me go “shit, can I do this?” in the beginning are usually the ones I have the most fun at making. The final product usually looks awesome and it makes me look like a goddamn genius for even attempting to do it….

…suckers.

That was my re-action to when actor/director/writer Jeremy Brothers asked me to make a prop/costume for his and Musician Jim Zaroulis’s new musical, “You’re a good man, Scott Brown.” The prop that he wanted was a wearable-movable-danceable truck costume.

So here’s a confession. I wasn’t following the Senatorial race. I didn’t even know it was over until the massive amount of depressing status updates flooded my facebook news feed.  In this, apparently black  woe-filled  day in my social network,  little shiny jubilant statuses stood out like  bright stars on a dark night and they all seem to be Republican.  Scott Brown had just won Ted Kennedy’s seat in the Senate. It was like when Obama won the Presidency except the reactions were reversed. Also! This made me realize how little  Republican friends I have.

Anyways, Jeremy had to give me a synopsis of what happened in the months I didn’t really pay attention to. About Scott Brown and his Truck.  About how he’s from Wrentham and he drives a Truck. How his campaign commercials involved him and his Truck. He loves that Truck. His Ford F-150 Truck…….Truck Truck…..Truck….Truck.

So now I was to make a truck costume to fit an Actor named Quinn Beswick . When we started brainstorming on what the truck should look like, I had mentioned using one of the prop wheelchairs the theater had and constructing it to look like a truck. Jeremy had another idea. Instead, he wanted Quinn to skate around the stage on rollerskates. He also wanted it to be in the style of Julie Taymor. You know, the chick who designed The Lion King on Broadway.  Now, I knew the only way this was going to work was if I go towards the Transformer route, which I was told to avoid doing. So I came up with this design:

The scanner cut off the image...didn't matter. It was rejected anyways.

This would involve a shit ton of fabric and sewing. But it would look like a truck. In fact it looked so much like a truck that Jeremy said, “It’s too literal.” followed by, “go abstract.” To which I asked, “You mean like Starlight Express?” and he smiled and said, “Yes”

Starlight Express….one of the many brilliantly gay things Andrew Lloyd Webber and company had ever come up with. The costumes were pretty damn cool…But I didn’t know how well that would translate to the audience.  I was afraid they’d wonder why there was a robot in this whole revision of Scott Brown’s senate tale.  Still, I went the Starlight route but made sure the audience knew that this man…was a truck.

Optimus G.O.P! Haha...wait.... what was that about not going the Transformer route?

This too was rejected. “Too Futuristic” I was told. Maybe it was because Jeremy was pressed for time, or maybe it was because I explained that “No, those are wheels…not jet packs,” that  eventually this design was approved.

I originally intended to make this thing out of cardboard, but since this was going to be carried around everywhere, I decided to make it out of plastic.

Soon, I’ve become familiar to the aisles  of the Home Depot in South Bay Center much to the delight of their employees who would look disappointed if I had said “Yes…I do need some help” after they asked if I needed one. I constructed the frame of the truck with wood. Cut up and screwed on a combination of plastic buckets, large bins and Tupperware. Bought a $20 pair of Rollerblades from a small Asian woman from craigslist. And then repeated a  trip after trip to Home Depot for more knick knacks and Spray paints.

I had my suspicions about regular spray paint not bonding well with the plastic. This was confirmed when I spray painted  the constructed truck and the son of a bitch began to peel after it was dry. probably didn’t help that the spray paint I used were only 97 cents each. So I got the expensive made for plastic kind and after a few revisions to the design as well as omitting those shoulder thingies. everything worked well.

GMC....American Made!....well... Filipino-American Made...American nonetheless!

Ok, the picture above doesn’t give the costume any justice.  Luckily, WCVBtv Channel 5 did a piece on the musical and caught the cast at rehearsal. They also got a good look at the truck (with no GMC sign) in action.  Click the link below to see!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q350OIZZ6O0

But there was a problem. That small Asian woman from craigslist had hustled me! The goddamn $20 skates were falling apart! The wheels were deteriorating and started digging up the wooden stage which was just renovated. So the skates had to go. Which actually allowed Quinn more movement. As seen in this Channel 7 coverage of the opening night of the show. Click the link below to see!

http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/entertainment/BO138278/

I don’t know why but when Quinn first wore the truck, he looked awkward and didn’t seem to enjoy having to carry all that weight while performing on stage. But Quinn made it work and made it his own. Frankly, the truck wouldn’t look as good had Quinn not been playing that part.

Jeremy had also wanted me to make a banner for one of the songs. It was to be a painting of Scott Brown, during his Cosmopolitan male modeling days, except the face would be  Evan Kaufman’s face, the actor playing Scott Brown. Using the same technique I used for the NXT Lost in Boston’s Mayor Menino banner where it was unraveled in scroll form, I painted ScottBrown/Evan Kaufman in acrylic and it took about 5-6 hours to finish (including drying time).  The finish piece looks like….well, I don’t know if I’m allowed to show it on here since anything I’ve mentioned or shown so far about the musical  are things the news had already spoiled…. well ok… I’ll take a picture of Evan showing it…..just promise not tell anyone:

OOPS! Sorry, Vic's an asshole.

I had a change of heart so you’ll just have to go to the show to see it!

There is a very quick shot of the painting in the video below of  the official trailer for  the show, blink and you’ll miss it:

This show was way bigger than I originally thought it would be.  Way funnier than when I first read the script for it. Then somebody mentioned that the real Scott Brown and his family were actually going to see it, and that’s when the gravity of just how awesome it was to be involved in this hit me.

-Vic

Now, why am I advertising this place so much? Besides the fact that I’m telling the truth? Well, I also designed the floor.

That’s right. The floor is plain ol’ concrete with a two color stain. My job was to A) make a design and B) Tape it off to be stained. I sent the corporate office 7 designs.

Design 1:

Corporate office decided on the colors. A brown and a darker color of that brown. Almost everyone pretty much agreed on using the Asylum’s triangular insignia (impy) in the design . For some reason I had a bio-hazard symbol stuck in my mind when I was designing this.

Design 2:

For the second design, I was going for some kind of floral look. I don’t know, I’m looking at it now and all I see is something I’d find on the back of a  Karate uniform.

Design 3

I wasn’t entirely sure what the final Front House would look like when I was designing these. I just remembered the large steel beams holding up the place looked awesomely industrial. I guess that’s what I was thinking of when I made this.

Design 4

I went for simple with this one. The impy…plain with a circle around it.

Design 5

That design was too simple….let’s make it more engaging. Put them on four corners! I like it a lot. I crossed my fingers that corporate would choose this one.

Design 6

Just for good measure, I went even simpler and just used the impy.

Design 7

I copied design 5’s technique and used the Impy as a way to point out the two entrances to the theater, the entrance/exit to the lobby, and….uh….the Men’s bathroom…

So corporate had their little meetings and decided that design 7 was a safer bet than all the others. It wasn’t until I started the taping process that I was absolutely thankful for their decision. I mean I wouldn’t mind doing the others but I was given such a short amount of time to tape off this thing that I was afraid I wouldn’t finish before the second stain was applied.

But I finished and here is what it looks like:

Ooooohh....

Ahhhh.....

I know I know…they fucked up the darker color. The stainer guy assured me, “yeah the bucket of stain says ‘black’…but it’s not really black.” Guess what? It’s fucking black! Anyways, good thing the design stands on it’s own.

As a final touch I was also put in charge of designing the bathroom doors ( you can see a little bit of the men’s room design on picture 2 up there).  I didn’t go for anything fancy…just something large and to the point.

If you are still confused....there's an alley behind the theater...

While I was doing all this…. I was also doing something for  Improv Asylum’s “You’re a good man, Scott Brown.”

But I’ll talk about that on the next blog.

-Vic

I planned the day to be an art related day. You know, visiting Newbury St. galleries to get inspired and then going to the coffee shops and letting everyone know I’m an artist by intensely drawing on my sketchbook. Rain or not, this was going to happen and I went ahead and  involved a fellow artist named Casey with me.

Besides the rain, the day already started off at a shit start. I woke up late to my 11AM scheduled meeting with Casey at the Trident cafe. I checked my e-mail and found out that it wasn’t really going to be a day off after all since I’ve forgotten about a little Mandatory meeting at 6PM over my job at  Improv Asylum. Then I fell asleep on the train and completely missed my stop by 3 train stations away. At this point I said to myself, “Ah…I get it….it’s going to be one of THOSE days.”

But by the time I made it to Newbury Street things started to look up. The rain postponed itself and Casey didn’t mind my lateness. We walked to the Other Side Cafe, which was looking a little bit more hipster than usual, and ordered some lunch and began to sketch.

I wasn’t feeling it. The creative juices weren’t flowing and the best I could come up with was a sketch of Casey sketching.

"Look, I'm not trying to be creepy here...I'm just out of ideas."

I think it’s important to note that the sketchbook I was using was made of duct tape and computer paper. I forgot to bring my sketchbook at work one time and decided that the reasonable thing to do was make my own sketchbook out of office materials.

"I'm poor."

Turned out copy paper sucks at handling ink from a pen and all my drawings ended up having smudges and  ink diarrhea. So it just made me less motivated to sketch. I needed inspiration so I convinced Casey to leave the self-conscious cafe and head towards the International Poster Gallery. About a month ago, I took my girlfriend Sarah to this gallery and remembered being inspired by the many awesome art ( I also saw an 1899 Tosca poster made by Adolfo Hohenstein that put my LHO poster to shame) and this visit was no exception.

But before we can get back to sketching, we decided to do a little wish-list-shopping at various clothing stores. We went to ZARA’s where  50% sale means you still can’t afford it. Around this time I noticed myself in their mirrors. My cell phone was bulging in my pants looking like I’ve got a rectangular hard on. So I took it out and placed it on my backpack’s cell phone holder. That’s what  they’re for right? Holding your cell phones.

We visited a few more stores and realized we didn’t have enough time to draw anymore so she offered to drive me to my 6PM meeting. After a little adventure getting lost on the way to the North End I finally told her to drop me off near the Hard Rock Cafe near government center. We hugged and she drove off. That’s when I realized that my cell phone holder failed at doing the one thing it’s supposed to do. My cell phone was gone. Immediately I thought, “It should be in her car!” I saw Casey stopping at a red light and I ran as fast as I could to catch up. When she made a turn I intercepted her so that she could pull over. I searched her car and didn’t find the phone anywhere. We both had appointments to attend to so she left and I went to my meeting shaking my head in disbelief. It WAS “one of THOSE days.”

I was obnoxiously anxious during the meeting. A co-worker offered to punch me in the face if I don’t stop it. I must have called my phone from the office line about 20 times hoping someone would pick up and say, “yeah I found your phone. I’ll mail it to you. What’s your mailing address?” and not “Yeah I found your phone, you want it back? What’s it to me? 50 bucks. cash.” But the thing just kept ringing and going to voice mail…which makes me think that  a) it’s on a floor where someone can’t notice it ringing , b) it’s smashed into a million pieces, or c) the person who found it turned it off because the ringing annoyed the shit out of them.

I had a plan! I was going to re-trace my steps and see where I could have left it. I really didn’t know what to expect. I’ve conditioned my mind to feel naked if I hadn’t got a phone on my person and now I was running around town figuratively in the nude. I was such in a rush that I heard someone call me an “asshole” when I cut them getting off the train. No time to insultingly stick my tongue out at her. I had to look for my phone.

I was in Newbury comics asking the cashier if anyone had found a phone. They didn’t. They’d call “Mom” or “Dad” if they did find a phone. I retraced my steps all the way to where Casey had parked her car and Lo’ and Behold! There it was! I was all anxious for no reason at all. My phone was nice and secured right under the tire of a volvo.

It was sticking out of the car enough for me to see it but not out enough for me to pry it off. It was quite a sight really, this big black piece of  Swedish automotive engineering and this tiny little orange phone glimmering underneath it. The irony here is that I wished I could have taken a picture of it with my camera phone. So while waiting for the owner of the car to come back and move, I took out my sketchbook and drew a portrait of my cellphone’s plight.

"Car phone! Get it? It's a car with a phone.....you get it."

I was standing around like a hooker in the cold waiting and feeling hopeful every time a person walked towards the car. I knew the phone wouldn’t work anymore but I’m hoping I could still save the sim card at the very least.  While waiting, I heard a voice cry out “Vic!” and saw that it was an old friend  and fellow artist named Lino Ribeiro. He took pictures of my phone with his  camera and kept me company as I waited for this person to move his car. He told me to call the cops borrow their jack and push the car up, but we slowly realized yet another irony since he himself didn’t have his phone on him. So we waited…and waited…and waited….after a while I felt really bad for keeping him there. At the same time he felt really bad to leave me but he had to, Lino had other businesses to attend to. So we said our goodbyes. Around this time, it started to rain.

It’s been four hours and who ever owned this car had no indication of showing up any time soon. So I put my fingers underneath the car, positioned my feet securely on the asphalt, and with all my might, I picked up the car and got my phone out. Then I set my jet pack to “Home” and I flew back into Quincy just before the rain began to pour hard.

Ok. Not exactly. I did position my self right next to the tire and pushed. To my surprise the car nudged a bit. I then tried my hardest to pry the phone out. I pulled and pulled and then I felt something in my forearms that would sound like a pop had it not been muted by the covering flesh. That’s when my left hand started to feel broken. Making a fist became damn near impossible without me screaming out in profanities and crying a little bit. I pulled so hard that I pulled a tendon or a muscle or something. But the rain wasn’t going to stop and my busted hand wasn’t going to be busted without any accomplishing results. “FUCK THIS CAR!” I pushed and pryed the cell phone with my sore fingers as hard as I could. Damn the consequences! And finally, after all that effort, my phone was out!

Now here’s the weird part, besides some scratches on the back of the phone where it was pinned on the pavement, the screen, which was under the tire, was not in the slightest broken at all! I wasn’t hoping much, but when I pressed the “On” button, the light on the screen glowed. I pressed all the features on the phone: the camera, the mp3 player, the keyboard…holy shit they all still work! My phone still works perfectly! I’ve had phones where the screen cracks for having been in my pocket and this one didn’t even bend after having been ran over by a car!

Moral of this story….Samsung Gravity 2 T469 Berry Mauve is a badass.

"badass"

Oh another moral, don’t trust phone holders on backpacks.

There was a time when I was the one standing on this  stupid scale….

The other day I was scanning pictures from my old sketchbooks and saw a bunch of drawings that made me go, “the fuck is this?” And then I realized I was a a bit of a mess when I did them.   Here are 10 drawings plucked right out of my once out of place mind.

10.  Think first…

This is your face on not-so-legal-except-for-medicinal-purposes-but only in some states-substance.

After feeding the side effects with Chinese food, I saw the reflection of a satisfied man in the mirror and decided to draw him. The drawing ended up looking like a disgruntled man giving me a lecture on why I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing. It’s like even though I looked satisfied, my brain felt violated enough to subconsciously draw me looking disheveled and annoyed. The only thing missing that could make this a more accurate description of my inner thoughts was if the statement ” Think first, before drawing yourself under the influence” was followed by “asshole!”

9. Noah’s ark had an orgy.

Can you see the goose regurgitating?

There are five chameleons in this drawing and they are all  camouflaged. I’m actually quite embarrassed about this picture…I mean seriously—gaudy colors…. shit composition…It’s like I never went to art school. Besides the chameleons, there are two dinosaurs on here, two cats, four birds (including one bow-tied penguin), one fish, one rabbit, one giraffe, and one dead artist–who looks like he fell to his death while wearing a shirt that says “Out of my head!”

For those who can't find the stupid artist.

8. Dave Chappelle and Punky Brewster

I think...the white and black birds represented their skin color...just in case you didn't know that by looking at their...you know, skin color.

This is the consequence of web surfing while under the influence. Hey, it could have been worse…with all the fucked up shit all over the internet, this could have been a cow humping a lady-boy prostitute in a kiddie pool full of poop…and two girls playing with a cup in the background. Anyways, the Chappelle’s show was on TV so I googled his name— and in an internet search game of word association, without knowing I somehow ended up looking at a picture of Soleil Moon Frye, the girl who was Punky Brewster. Then I played another game, it’s called image association…the shadow of Soleil’s hair made her look like Brandon Lee’s The Crow…and crows are black, which is the complete contrast of white, hence the white dove. This all felt significantly mind blowing at the time.

7.  Coke….get it?

Crack corn!....I don't get it.

Me and another person…who will remain nameless….were cracking up at the idea of some guy snorting coke out of a coke bottle. The idea amazed us. “Why haven’t this been done before?!” So I drew it before I forgot about it. I wanted to make people think! It’s a a guy snorting coke out of a coke bottle! Think about it! That shit’s meta. That shit’s deep! Unfortunately, the only way this could be any form of compelling was if the rest of the world was as spaced out as we were.

6. My drawing is speaking to me.

"hi?"

Coincidences are fuel for Paranoia. When I finished drawing this horrible portrait of my left hand, I blessed the thing by sprinkling it with ink. To my horror, the ink dripped into the word, “Hi.” That was enough to convince me that the drawing was trying to send me a message. I contemplated about this for hours even coming to a point where I was telling myself, “Vic calm down…you’re not going insane…this is just an accident. Your drawing is NOT trying to communicate with you.” But just in case, I splashed ink on several more pieces of paper looking for messages. There was a lot of letters with mostly vertical lines and a ton of dots….the message I got was I needed to buy more ink and paper.

5. The fuck is this mess?

this is the drawing equivalent to gibberish.

I haven’t a got a clue how to describe my train of thoughts when I was doing this. I can’t even make out half the shit that’s on here. Is that the Grim Reaper with a birthday cake? A half-mad half-retarded cow?  A fucked up super Mario shaking his fist? The only thing I could remember about this drawing was that the scarecrow on the top left was wearing a t-shirt that says “BOOM” except the “M” is crossed out so it would say “BOO” instead….because you know, because he’s a scarec–whatever– Anyways, the figure with his hands on his head is the before mentioned person who will remain nameless, whose gesture suggest that he’s got a mad headache. Probably because I was explaining to him what this drawing meant. It’s giving me a headache just thinking about it.

4. Explain this  Stream of Consciousness

Eat it Virigina Woolf

This was usually the shit I come up with when I was fucked up. Just a jumble of things that pops in my head and hope that my attention span holds long enough for me to finish what I’m drawing and move on to the next image.

3. The drawing that had nothing to do with the events happening at the time of its making.

There's a banana on here with a hat covering its junk.

Freak outs are terrible. So when this girl I was “recreationing” with started freaking out and demanded to know how to get rid of the “funny feeling” ASAP–I felt compelled to lie–as I tend to do when I’m starting to freak out as well. I said, “Uh…eating food…that should help get rid of it.” When that didn’t work…. I told her to sleep it off. So I had a twitching girl on my bed trying her absolute hardest to sleep and hopeful that when she wakes up, she’ll be her old self again and ready to punch me in the face for getting her involved in this stuff. Anyways, while she was shivering in a fetal position, I was on the floor of my room drawing that little gem you see up there. By the time I was done, I noticed she was sitting up and wasn’t feeling funny anymore. She was too lethargic to punch me in the face by then.

2. When the wacky happy stuff tries its hardest to contain anger.

um....

Now I’m a pretty chill dude. The only times I can remember myself exploding in a fit of anger was back in High School when teen angst ruled and somehow it made sense for me to think like I knew everything and everyone else was stupid therefore ARRRGHHH!!!!. Anyways, I was under the influence and particularly angry  for reasons that are now laughable when I did this.

1.  he he he he….

“I was giggling the whole time I was drawing this.” That statement pretty much sums it up right there. For some reason, a naked dude with a Pompadour shaking his pointer-finger-dick is making me giggle. What’s wrong with me? Oh right….

For the record, I don’t do recreational substances anymore….I’ve actually got the qualifications of a straight edge minus the Hardcore Punk part. Also…. I can’t find the time or the money for it. Besides, I’m working jobs where multi-tasking and attention is a must and for some reason, those two factors are non-existent when I’ve got a hint of that stuff in the system. Also, I can see how this can be an improv-killer…I really don’t know how some people can be habitual users and still  have the reaction time, memorization skills,  and focus when building coherent scenes. Props to those who can.

I’m not celebrating Valentine’s day… but I am celebrating how February 14 didn’t suck this year….

…ah fuck it…

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!